Gunston Undertakers
YOUR PROJECT OUR SOLUTIONS
Rubble.
Lose the cunt.
Rubble is like unrefined sand.
It is fairly lumpy and heavy.
A bit like the dead cunt we're burying today!
Haha, forgive me there, just a bit of coffin humour.
Anyway, rubble. Give it a thought.
Righto.
Best not to ask too many questions about this option. "Plausible Deniability" or something, I think Aunty Doris said.
Exclusive Option
Sand.
One of our more exclusive dead cunt disposal options involves you renting the Daewoo2000 Gravedigger Mk II for an hour or two and using it to dig the biggest fucking hole you've ever seen in your fuckin' life and then biffing the dead prick in the fuckin' hole.
Although renting the Daewoo Gravedigger is a bit of a financial stretch for poor cunts (going rate is $20 bucks a bloody hour, pretty dashed steep I know) this fat cunt REALLY gets the job done.
It will bury your dead cunt so fucking deep he'll be reincarnated in his afterlife with magma still on his dick.
Aunty Doris usually pilots the Daewoo2000 herself but for an extra 10 bucks she said she'd be willing to let you mourning amateur gravediggers have a burl.
BE WARNED though, if you return the Daewoo2000 with so much as a hairline scratch on it, Aunty Doris will split your nutsuck off the back of your fucking teeth.
The Daewoo2000 is not as easy to handle as you might think. Especially as you have a massive cry over some poor dead cunt while trying to operate 32 levers at once and excavate 800 million kilotonnes of dirt.
The sand in the picture above is exactly like the sand at the beach.
Everyone loves loafing around on the sand at the beach.
Of course you fucking do. Unless you're a gothic poof.
Therefore sand is a great option to have your dead prick lie in for all fuckin' eternity.
It's just like going to the fuckin' beach forever! Lucky cunt! I wish I could lie around on the beach all day forever but buggery fuck some of us have work to do. Lucky cunt.
Services.